Our Anniversary...

Tomorrow is a big deal for me. It is my one year anniversary being in Michigan and being with Doug. To be honest, about January~ February I never thought that we would make it to this milestone. Yes, I call it a milestone because this is the first healthy relationship I have ever been in and I have made it over the one year hump.

To me it means that all of the other failures, while I had some part in them (I would be stupid not to admit that) were not ALL my fault. I think that I knew that on some level, but with failure after failure, it is kind of hard to be still blaming someone else. I was looking at my role in these failures and all I could see was MY failure. So, I took the blame.

I always thought getting through the first five years was tough, you hear it all over the place when people are talking about marriages. But honestly, the first year has to be hardest. Especially if you have moved in with someone in that first year. There is so much to get used to. Little habits, likes, dislikes, the usual stuff in a relationship.

But I made it through. And I came through a better person than when I began this journey. That is important to me. There have been relationships where I haven't liked who I became with the person in my life. So, changes are made.

I am enjoying my new found freedom and my new life and love. I wake up happy and I go to bed happy. A vast change from my former life where I never went to sleep because I was afraid of what may happen to me in my sleep. And what eventually happened to me in my sleep.

So many things have changed in this last year. My mental health is so much better. I had some rocky times, but I made it through. I am looking forward to the next year and plenty in the future. I am happy:)

So, to Doug: Happy Anniversary!!! I love you. I look forward to many more with you. You are my rock and my shelter in the storm. Thank you so much for loving me the way that I needed to be loved. You are my Prince Charming, and even though you traded your white horse for a white car, it doesn't matter. You have my heart and my total commitment and devotion. Thank you for saving me from everything including myself at some points. I love you always. Love, Tigger.....